Deeply Disappointed - Matthew 10:34-3

 

 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.” - Matthew 10:34-36


    Often, in our lives, we experience deep disappointment in our loved ones. It may come as a result of criminal activity, drug or alcohol abuse, questionable associations, or life-style sins. It is their unacceptable behavior that cleaves a family in two. While hurting us usually isn’t their primary motivation, their poor choices inevitably wound and torment us. As they spiral down the road to perdition, their objectionable conduct pains and often outrages us. These occasions are difficult within the Christian family when the prodigal member seems willing to do anything to gain and preserve their autonomy. “Brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death.” - Matthew 10:21. While our children, in this case, would hopefully not actively seek our physical deaths, they don’t care how badly they can hurt us emotionally and spiritually by their choices in this life. In these cases, ‘unacceptable choices’ are defined as any behavior that directly ignores or deliberately transgresses our wants and wishes as determined by God’s will. AS DETERMINED BY GOD'S WILL!
    What makes the whole sordid disruption in our lives so utterly painful is that despite their heinous decisions, we still love them. Therefore, the experience is soul wrenching for us. We still see our children as infants and toddlers that we loved with all our hearts; despite their failings, they will always be our children. When sibling relationships go wrong, we recall the bonds of brotherly and sisterly love we had growing up; despite our differences, they are still our siblings. When it is a parent who slips from their child’s pedestal, we yearn for the mother or father we recall from our childhood who nurtured us and protected us; despite their failings, they are still our parents. The tribulation can is agonizing for all involved. The disjunct between such people and God’s will is obvious to all, including themselves. They cannot claim ignorance. It is willful disregard for both their families and God. “For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.” - 2 Timothy 3:2-4.
    So what are the bereaved family members supposed to do? First, we must always seek to reconcile with the prodigal family member. We must approach the situation with love and a determination to set things aright in a godly manner, with care, understanding, and grace. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” - Proverbs 15:1.
    Second, if the offending family member seeks forgiveness, we are duty bound to forgive them, remembering that we are all sinners in the eyes of God. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” - Romans 3:23.
    Third, we should be patient with them. It is rare that a person ‘goes bad’ in a single day and just as rare for one to turn back in a single day. “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” - 2 Peter 3:9.
    Finally, we must be prepared to accept the possibility that the errant family member just will not return to the fold. Therefore, Jesus said, “... a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.” We don’t stop loving them. We don’t stop praying for them. And unless they prove to be a physical danger to us or to others, we don’t lock them out of our lives.
    God’s Word instructs both children and parents in the way of righteousness - “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise),’ that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” - Ephesians 6:1-4.
    It is only through mutual respect and honor that godly families show the unbelieving world what such love looks like. But God must be front and center in all our lives.