I have a dear old friend (let’s call him, John). I’ve known him since high-school and have never been able to talk to him about God. You see, I have tried on numerous occasions to discuss faith in God and related issues. Unfortunately, my old friend has always abruptly ended our conversations with a dismissal of any point I was trying to make. Then he would immediately shift the subject to sports or some other likewise inconsequential subject. It is for this reason that I sadly admit I have failed to ever engage him on the more weighty subjects of eternal salvation and the grace of God.
The end of our attempts at discussing God came one night when I was trying to explain to him that God will forgive us our transgressions if we but go to Him in prayer and contrition. “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” - Proverbs 28:13. But my friend remained adamant.
He countered, “So you’re telling me that if I murdered someone then turned right around and asked for forgiveness, God would forgive me?”
“The scenario you have described has probably never happened in history; however if your confession and contrition are sincere? Yes, absolutely,” I responded.
“I don’t believe that.”
John’s refusal to believe God’s promise led me to two startling revelations about him.
1) He neither believes God nor trusts Him.
This mistrust is the most revealing facet of his disbelief. It’s not that God is not trustworthy but the fact that forgiving others is the true source of his discontent And that brings us to number 2) If God will forgive us then it only follows that we must forgive others who have hurt us with their words or deeds. And herein lies John’s greater problem: he cannot bring himself to forgive his own father, who abandoned the family when he was just a child. It wasn’t a generic divorce where time is divided equally between mom and dad. His father left the family and never made contact again. This is an old wound that has continued to fester throughout John’s life. Understandably, his anger and hurt continue to feed one another to this very day. John seldom speaks about the abandonment anymore but it is clearly behind his reluctance to forgive and it remains a pillar of all his other beliefs and attitudes.
I pray for John constantly. I pray that he would see that none of us are without sin and all of us need forgiveness. “If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?” - Psalm 130:3. I pray that he will see God’s desire for humanity. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” - Ephesians 4:32. And I pray that John’s hardened heart may one day be regenerated by the Holy Spirit. “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” - Colossians 3:12-13.
John needs to allow his wounded heart to heal through the grace of God. His current attitude shows that only through Christ will healing come. It is only through Christ that joy will come. For the moment John is completely at the mercy of his pain and the satanic voice that continues to accuse. “How dare your father abandon you? How dare he even think that you are capable of forgiveness?” John remains a prisoner to his pain. And Satan is perfectly content in keeping him there. But Jesus Christ wants him to step up, to step forward - “Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.” - John 16:24.
Sadly, John’s father passed away some time ago without fanfare as so many others who have hurt people and never bothered to ask for forgiveness. Not that John would have, but his father’s death robbed John of even considering it. It took the option off the table. I just pray that John would understand that forgiving is more for his peace of mind than for his father’s sake. When we forgive others it relieves us of the burden of carrying that anger and hatred like a weight upon our backs. And it shows that we have put our selfish pride in its place. Forgiveness doesn’t erase the crime; forgiveness allows us to cast the hurt behind us and move on.
Unlike John, who remains a prisoner to his pain and may never know the peace that comes with forgiving, let us all pray that we will have reconciliation without limit in our forgiving hearts, knowing that God has forgiven us.
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