“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” - Ephesians 5:22-24
The Greek word for “submit,” hupŏtassō , in its simplest translation means “to obey.” Countless disagreements have arisen from these three lines of scripture. With the rise of feminism in the latter half of the 20th Century to its highly fanatical form today, new antagonisms have reared their ugly heads suggesting that Paul was at the very least a condescending chauvinist if not a blatantly outspoken misogynist. Neither of which accusation is true. But the misunderstanding of the passage owes itself to two patently obvious errors. (1) That women are under no obligation to submit or obey any man, let alone their husbands; and (2) that men have carte blanch power over what their wives think, say, and do. There isn’t an element of truth to either of these relational errors. The lynchpin of the misunderstanding lies in our failure to properly understand the word “submit.”
Do we show our love for one another by the way we disagree with one another? By the way we intentionally ignore or defy one another? By the way we backbite, argue, and fight with one another? Do we exhibit our love for one another by blatant disobedience? Love truly is a demonstrable emotion. In other words we more easily exhibit it by our actions than with our words. Love is not defined by contention. It is more truly defined by cooperation and compatibility. Men and women who love one another do not exhibit it by expecting their demands to be met based upon conditions held over one another’s heads.
“ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
In fact, the only true submission we make to one another is when we submit to one another in love. We submit neither to command or demand; we submit only to love. This is the point of our title verse. Wives are to submit to their husbands AS TO THE LORD! Would the church flagrantly disobey Christ? To what purpose? Would the church suggest that Christ might demand or command something unholy of them? By the same token would a woman charge her husband with some unreasonable demand? Her husband must be at the task of doing what has been commanded by God - “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her . . .” - Ephesians 5:25 As Christ would never mistreat His church neither would a Godly husband ever mistreat or disrespect his wife! This speaks directly to the mutuality of love between a husband and a wife. This being said, a husband would just as surely “submit” to his wife were she to ask what is righteous and what is holy of him.
To all of us who have been blessed in this lifetime with a Godly husband or wife let us submit to them as to the Lord. Let us submit to love.
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